Cherrie | Mt Wellington
“Ah, yeah recently I felt quite angry. It’s not angry, because I’m, I’m very bad at telling the people about my feelings.
So, most the time I just tolerate it, and not trying to let people know I’m actually angry with them. So, I’m really bad at this, but I do feel angry, like recently about my job and also with my boyfriend as well, but I’m just really bad at telling people.
Normally I try to be busy, trying a lot of things, try to do some readings. For most of the time for my relationship, if I become quite angry, I just trying to help my feelings, and make it worse maybe, then someday I just give up and walk away. I know it’s really bad.
Should I talk about my relationship? Okay, it’s just last Wednesday; I went for a movie with my boyfriend, and it’s a Korean movie actually. I quite like it, because I watched the first one. It was quite good. So, I went for the second one, and I invited my boyfriend, but he’s a Kiwi and he doesn’t understand like the Asian culture actually. So, when we’re sitting in the cinema, not even half hour, he wants to leave, and I bought the ticket and I arranged all the things, but he just want to leave, and he told me, you can stay here and I can wait for you outside. So, I said, are you in a rush or something? So, in the end, we just went out of the cinema, and we just left. Yeah, and I feel like it’s not being respected, and I actually feel angry, but yeah, I try and hold my feelings.
It’s not, it’s more about sadness. I told him I feel quite, quite tired recently because I have to be careful of his emotional problems, and I don’t want to have arguments or fight with him. So, I try to tolerate a lot of things and I feel really tired. It’s like I have to, all the time I have to consider his feeling first, and I start forgot how I feel. Yeah, it’s been really tiring.
Normally I call my friends, but I only have one friend to talk to because I moved to New Zealand by myself. So basically, I don’t have like many, I don’t have many connections here, friends. So, I call my friends back in China sometimes, and recently I start to see the therapist because I want to try to solve my, the emotional problems, because I’m really bad at telling. I can talk about the things with my, the friends in China, but not here, the people who actually make me angry or make me emotional or feel sad.”