Arlene | Pakuranga

Oh, it was actually on the weekend. I, we have been trying to help one of our kids out with, how he’s going in his life.

He’s got a couple of, well a few kids now, and he’s only 24, so we were thinking, you know, we’ll try and help him out financially et cetera, but my husband is of the opinion that you give them a hand-out and not a hand-up, and it just, yeah doesn’t work with me. You know? It’s, in order for him to get where he wants to be, he has to put in the work as well, and yeah it just set that button off, I’m afraid.  

I think I’m very blessed that my partner is quite patient, and he does see, you know I’ve, I’ve had a problem with depression and anxiety for my whole life, so he knows that. He’s lived with it so he knows when to back off a bit. I’ve just recently, developed some skills in maybe picking the big battles and not the, not the every battle, which will ultimately lead to you not feeling good about anything. You’re not feeling good about yourself. You’re not feeling good about anything else, and you know, in setting off that spiral that leads you to, to get to the bottom of the hill. So, you need to pick your battles is basically what I’m saying, and learn what’s important to you, and what’s important at the time. It may not be as big a deal as what you assume that it’s going to be.

I grew up in Mt Wellington and my parents are actually still there. I spent a lot of my life overweight, and developed a disability. So I’ve, I’ve had a fairly, a distinct life, and I’ve learned what’s important to me is kindness and understanding and finding people that, that get you. You know? It’s no point worrying yourself on these people that you know, abuse you and, and threaten to break your other leg when you tell them off for parking in disabled parking. You need to learn that those people are going to be those people throughout their lives, and I need to worry about the important people in my life because I do have some important people. I’m really big on fairness, and you know, life is what you make it, and if you want what you want out of life, then you have to go and get it. It’s not going to come to you. You’re not, it’s not going to fall in your lap. You work, and you do it and you know, you will get where you want to be in the end.”

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